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A Day In The Life of a Television Writer


5:30am
Alarm goes off. Hit snooze button.
5:38am
Alarm goes off again. Hit snooze button.
5:46am
Alarm goes off ag...break alarm clock.
6:44am
Wake up. Wonder why alarm didn't go off.
7:03am
Freshly showered, dressed and ready to crank out a thousand words on novel before heading into office at TV series.
7:05am
Decide can't write without little jumpstart of vanilla blonde roast from Starbucks.
7:26am
Back from Starbucks, ready to crank out the novel... better check email first.
7:57am
Finish reading and returning email, ready to work on novel.
7:59am
Should probably check standings of fantasy soccer team.
8:06am
Need new goalkeeper.
8:42am
Have new Keeper, new defender, and new striker. Ready to write.
8:44am
Realize it has been over an hour since last email check.
8:57am
Late for work.
9:22am
Arrive at office. Assistant hands you ratings from last night's episode.
9:23am
Tell assistant to never show you ratings ever again.
9:35am
Lead actor calls. LOVES the next episode. Just one question...can the bicycle he's riding on page 3 be a Harley-Davidson instead?
9:44am
Check email. Realize episode #10 is due in two days, not two weeks as you had thought.
9:45am
Start thinking of episode #10 ideas.
9:48am
Costume designer calls. Says her budget was gutted on last episode's dream sequence, so Brooks Brothers suit described on page 14 will have to be a hoodie and jeans. Oh, and female lead hates her entire wardrobe.
9:59am
Network calls. LOVES the next episode, just have a couple of real quick questions, starting with bicycle on page 3... can it be a Segue?
11:47am
Network hangs up.
11:48am
Check email.
11:53am
Writing staff wants to know where we're having lunch.
12:18pm
Lunch location decided, have just enough time to work on episode #10 ideas before lunch.
12:21pm
Decide to ask writers about episode #10 at lunch.
12:22pm
Check email.
12:25pm
Click on youtube link sent by writer friend.
12:59pm
Finish watching 14 youtube videos, time for lunch.
1:16pm
Lunch with writers. Discuss everything except episode #10.
2:27pm
Back from lunch, ready to tackle episode #10.
2:29pm
Prop man calls. LOVES the next episode. Just one question... the bicycle on page 3... mountain bike? Road? Cruiser? Red? Blue? Green? Yellow? Sparkly fringe dangling from the handlebars?
2:41pm
Make revisions to current script. Actor now sitting in chair on page 3.
2:55pm
Assistant knocks. Wants to know if you finished reading her spec she gave you 2 weeks ago.
2:56pm
Begin reading assistant's spec.
3:03pm
Check email.
3:14pm
While looking at Cats That Look Like Hitler, get great idea for episode #10.
3:20pm
Female lead wants to see you in her trailer.
3:27pm
"No, you absolutely do not look fat in that!"
3:35pm
Studio calls. Wants to hear about episode #10.
3:41pm
Studio LOVES the idea for episode #10. But fears the network will hate it. Says network will want it less serialized, less connected to episodes #8 and #9. "How much less?" "Make it a stand alone."
4:09pm
Network calls to hear idea for episode #10.
4:13pm
Network hates idea for episode #10. Says it should be serialized and completely connected to episodes #8 and #9.
4:17pm
Begin writing outline for episode #10.
4:19pm
Check email.
4:26pm
Assistant knocks. Wants to know what you thought of her spec.
4:27pm
Begin reading assistant's spec again.
4:50pm
Agent calls.
4:52pm
Agent says he has to jump off. Will return.
5:09pm
Lead actor calls. LOVES the revisions for next episode. One question... can the chair on page 3 be an elliptical machine?
5:58pm
Finish writing outline for episode #10. Perhaps the greatest outline you have ever conceived. You are convinced this episode will finally get you an Emmy nomination.
6:04pm
Network calls. You've been canceled.
6:04:08
Call agent.
6:05pm
Agent has left for the day.
6:08pm
Assistant bursts into office, says Bad Robot just optioned her spec script and offered her a job on staff. Wants to know if there's anything she can do for you before she quits.
6:09pm
Assistant quits.
6:10pm
Search office for liquor.
6:12pm
Search Internet for jobs in the golf biz.
6:21pm
Open up novel file. Going to crank out 1000 words.
6:23pm
Check email.
7:11pm
While doing youtube search for videos of guys getting hit in the nads, get new idea for TV series. This one will be great!
7:14pm
Start writing new idea.
7:16pm
Check email.
7:20pm
Security arrives to "help" you clean out your office, the new JJ Abrams series is moving in in the morning.